Worry. We all wrestle with this, some with success, others not. The lyric “and every morning I wake up and worry What’s gonna happen today?” comes to mind. But you don’t have to be an Eagle to understand this.
There’s a reason we worry. And no, you’re not weird. You’re wired—note the rearranging of three letters. Yes, you and I are wired for anxiety. It’s in our brains. It’s a matter of anatomy and physiology. Some worry and anxiety in our lives do not make us neurotics.
There is a small part of our brains called the amygdala. Some thinkers, like Seth Godin, call the amygdala the “lizard brain.” The amygdala is what keeps us alert to danger. It generates the “fight or flight” impulse in the face of real or imagined threats. That is the hardwiring. We have an amygdala for a reason.
But what do we do? Anxiety is not particularly pleasant. How do we manage this in a world that is changing and unpredictable?
I’ve learned a few things. Still learning others. Here’s some things that I’ve found helpful.
- Most of what we worry about simply never happens. One study puts the number of things that never happen at 85%. Think about that. If you have like twenty negative anxieties you’re brooding over, on average only three of them happen.
- Human beings are made remarkably resilient. People survive job loss, friend rejection, illness, financial calamity, relationship adversity—including breakup and divorce, every day.
- People generally think about themselves. They’re usually not thinking about you. Therefore, it is fruitless to imagine all sorts of awful mental scenarios.
- Worry and anxiety about what may happen is quite often worse than actually experiencing the thing you fear.
What helps you get the upper hand on worry?