What Is a Friend?

10 08 2017

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”


What are the tasks of a friend?  Here are a few:

  • They see you as you are and take you in anyway, warts and all.
  • They’re the ones you’re not nervous about calling or texting at two in the morning.
  • They listen and your body language informs you that you’re safe in their presence. You don’t have to sell or earn anything.
  • They last.

Remember your true friends.  The ones who will throw themselves on a grenade to protect you.  The ones who are there when those who want something from you have trotted away.


Suggested Resources:

The Walk (Michael Card)

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (Mark Twain)


Image Credit



Marry Well! (You Won’t Regret It)

10 09 2013

Photo1The title for this post is not original.  It’s from Bill Hybels’ outstanding book Making Life Work.  Were someone to ask of me advice about what it takes to have a happy life, one of the first things I’d tell them is this: Marry well.  You’ve no idea the wonder and joy that follows on such a decision.  Nor the incredible sorrow that follows when you marry poorly.

(Sweetheart, if he’s a bum now, he’ll probably be a bum long after you marry him.  Dude, if she’s a diva now, chances are diva will grow into a monster.  Avoid.  Like the plague.)

I’ve made plenty of mistakes in life.  Most of the unhappiness I’ve ever experienced was a product of my own skill at doing stupid things.  But one thing I did, with God’s help and goodness, was marry well.

When writing about home and marriage years ago, Michael Card penned the memorable line “that half of your heart that somebody else treasures, the one who’s your forever friend.”  The song aptly titled “Home.”

Boy, that sums it up nicely.

When choosing someone to spend your life with, there are few things more comforting than knowing the one who cares about you at your best  and worst.  Who picks you up and puts you back together again when life crushes you.  Who is there in the dark with words of encouragement and sunshine.  And forgiveness.

In today’s sexually-charged culture, it seems that the friendship factor in choosing one’s spouse is given short shrift.  Those who’ve been married for years will tell you that feelings and romance can ebb and flow.  Eros is capricious if nothing else.  But being married to your soul mate, your best friend can carry you through things nothing else can.

Here’s to the one I love and will grow old with.  The one I dream and pal around with.  The one I’d rather be with more than any other person on Earth.


One Who’ll Walk Beside You

7 01 2012

David, a former student, and I play Scottish reels

“He will come after me, this young Timothy; looking for someone to guide him.” (Michael Card)

I have been privileged to teach and mentor people for about 25 years now.   Most of this has taken place in music lessons where I am teaching guitar, piano or music theory.  In other cases, I have been able to teach, show and guide in work environments as a pastor, baker, carpenter or IT professional; as well in small group settings over coffee and pastries.  And most important of all in my own home, raising our two beautiful, intelligent daughters.   This could not have been done without their mother, the crown jewel.  Compared to her input, mine was modest.

It is the responsibility of those of us who are older, whose heads have hair that has either turned gray or loose, to pass on the stuff of life to those whom God and destiny have brought into our paths.  Our children top the list but there are plenty more.  The world is crying for leaders and the young look to the older to guide them, to show them how to navigate life and have an impact on the world.

Today, I began a 6 month journey walking along side over half a dozen young men.  All marvelous individuals with the mark of leadership on them.  Together we will look at work, career, faith, money, sex, understanding women and a whole lot more.  We will share the things we’ve learned and are learning and grow together.  One of the hallmarks of our church, New Life Christian Church of Watertown NY, is to raise up and fully equip the next generation.  I’m privileged to have a part.

So I expect we’ll be sharing in this blog over the next year some of the special things we learn.  Our group has wide interests and careers—music, US Army, IT, US Postal Service, agriculture, youth ministry, fire safety, delivery services and more.  Join us on this blog as we learn together.

Our focus next week is “Taking 100% Responsibility For Your Life.”

It’s going to be great.  I guarantee it.