The Challenge Of A True Friend

28 02 2012

There is a proverb in the Bible that goes like this: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

We all survive and thrive on the comfort of those who know us best, who get us back on our feet and help us to carry on when the going gets tough.

Recently, I’ve been challenged to take my ability to be a friend to another level.  My wife and I have made some strategic decisions lately and are laying out goals for our personal development.  Often, in my desire to offer comfort I sabotage her by offering a way out of difficulty rather than challenge in the pursuit of her goals and dreams.  She’s told me, “I really need you to be a friend to me and not let me out of these goals when things are not easy.”

I have to admit, it’s far easier for me to soothe when I should be urging her on to the mark with affection and encouragement.

How about you?

As a friend, you are able to speak in love to those in your orbit and help them become the best they can be.  In fact, it’s your love and commitment that makes such direct challenges palatable.

Here’s some starters to help be a better friend:

  • “You’re overextending yourself.  Why don’t you get to bed a little earlier?”
  • “Come on.  You’re better than that!”
  • ”You really don’t need that second helping of goulash (or glass of wine).”
  • “There’s a trend I’m seeing in your attitudes.  Let’s talk about it.  I’ll walk with you  through this.”
  • “You need to take better care of yourself.  Why don’t you make an appointment to see a doctor?”
  • “Be a class act.  Don’t descend to the level of petty gossip and malice over what [insert name] has disappointed you with.”

Being a friend surely means offering solace and empathy.  But it also has the character of a good coach—you help those you love to win.  Be that friend.

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2 responses

29 02 2012
Mark Mathia

I have always liked the saying by Henry Cloud, “good friends stab you in the front.” – At the office we have been working on this very thing. Holding each accountable in a healthy way. For us, its starts with trust.

29 02 2012
Christian Fahey

“Good friends stab you in the front” – great quote and great ethic, Mark. Thanks for sharing!!

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