Alpha Male

30 01 2012

My wife and I had a compelling conversation over eggplant parmigiana this evening:

Alpha males.

The term alpha male is a recent innovation but the idea is well-known.  Like Justice Potter Stewart’s answer when asked to describe obscenity, he answered, “I can’t tell you what obscenity is but I know it when I see it.”  You know an alpha male when you see him.

Popular culture has given us an idea of the alpha male.  Steve McQueen.  John Wayne.  Frank Sinatra.  Clint Eastwood.  More recently, Liam Neeson and Russell Crowe (pictured above).

When I asked Kath what defines an alpha male more than anything, she answered, “Confidence.  He’s comfortable with himself and owns his space.”

She really got my attention.  My game is going to another level.

An alpha male:

  • Is confident in his own abilities.  One proof is he doesn’t need to announce it.  He knows what he can and cannot do.
  • Is decisive.  He makes a decision, usually with dispatch, and then sticks with it.
  • Has stones and plenty of testosterone.
  • Doesn’t run home to mother when the going gets tough.
  • Is not given to self-pity, especially displays of it.  Corollary to that is he doesn’t shift blame and takes a beating if he’s earned it.
  • Can defend himself intellectually or physically.  This makes women feel very safe and is quite a turn-on.  Gals may pity wimps but they don’t respect them.
  • Will mask his fears even when afraid.  It’s Leadership 101.  Combat veterans understand this well.
  • Is not a poser.  Nor arrogant (an advertisement saying “I’m insecure”).
  • Walks into a room and leads.  He’s not looking for a leader.  He is one.  Frank Sinatra was king here.  It’s no wonder one of his nicknames was “Chairman of the Board.”
  • Aren’t desperately seeking people’s approval or permission to live life and forge ahead.
  • Is not metrosexual, though he dresses well and smells nice.  The idea of effeminacy makes him recoil.
  • Knows exactly what he wants and goes after it, come hell or high water.

Alright lads, let’s take it to another level.  The world is waiting.

And so is your woman.

Image Credit




4 responses

30 01 2012
Tony Gullo

No thank-you. Being a male is consuming enough for me. Blessings on your journey Christian.

30 01 2012
Christian Fahey

Thanks for reading, Tony.

30 01 2012
Tony Gullo

Thanks for writing Christian – you have such a source of nourishment here with this blog. I loved your latest. Something I have wrestled with on a consistent basis in my walk. You’ve used the perfect example with Crowe’s character. Fave movie – watched it several times over the years. I’ve come to a place where I have realized it is not in my DNA to be an AM. There is no doubt that I hope some of the above bullet points apply to my character, but overall – it ain’t for me. I appreciate the opportunity for self-examination through your writing. Keep ’em coming.

30 01 2012
Christian Fahey

Thanks bro. I’m sure I could have articulated a little more clearly but the essence of what I was after was the need for guys to lead more forthrightly. I will keep writing and appreciate your input. Have a fantastic week!

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